i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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