grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
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On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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