no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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