Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize