mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize