Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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