bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
from now on my penis is your penis
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize