you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
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