boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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