All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize