is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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