We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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