Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize