the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize