Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
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I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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