Duck Duck Cougar?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize