went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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