you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize