Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize