Where is the hickey?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize