My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize