Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize