allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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