all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have fence marks all over my body
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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