Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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