nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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