I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize