Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize