I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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