I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
