we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize