Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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