Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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