I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize