I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
last night I used snow as a chaser
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