Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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