i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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