Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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