Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize