i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize