Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My penis needs a shock collar
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize