I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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