id be glad to
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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