I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
birth control should be required to get into college
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize