god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize