He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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