its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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