I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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