I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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