I accidentally had phone sex last night
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
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I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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